26 August 2012

A Public Service Announcement -- Part IV

[The Announcement continues with Part IV below:]

4.) Clichéd and overused items in one’s profile.

Since there are a lot of these descriptions floating around, I’ll just group some of the ubiquitous items that I’ve seen here. The premise behind this point is that it seems everybody uses such overused descriptions to describe themselves on their profiles.

Here are a few examples:
  • “I’m strong and independent” 
  • “I want a guy who’s caring, funny, honest, cute…”
  • “I don’t like writing about myself…”/”I’m not sure what to say here…”
  • “I’m not your average girl…”
  • “I want someone to love me for me..."
  • "My family and friends are important and I like spending time with them..."
  • “If you wanna know more about me, ask…” / “I’m an open book…” / “I’ll tell you anything you want to know…”

All of these examples can be countered with “So? Most every other girl I’ve seen on here says that too.” Because of this, all of these (and the last one in particular) are incredibly-lazy copouts. If your profile just says “if u wanna know more, ask,” that says a lot about yourself, and not in a very pleasant or flattering way. Someone who posts these on their profile is saying “I have no creativity and cannot think of anything positive that would set me apart besides my body.”

Why would I want to date some girl who cannot even take 20 minutes to sit down and come up with at least 3-4 positive things about herself (besides sex) that she has to offer 
to a prospective mate—and for that matter how she shows this in her life? What makes me (as a prospective suitor) think that she’s going to actually put more effort into any sort of relationship I might form with her?  

Another overused item is the usage of text-speak (which makes sense if you’re only limited to 140 characters, and on most sites you aren’t). In most cases, you probably have a word-processor available to you on your computer. It wouldn’t hurt to type up your profile text in a word-processor and then run the grammar and spell-checks through it. Why? Actually having some intelligence above that of a seventh-grader might just go a long way towards guys seeing you for what you are instead of your body. Meaning: if you’re a girl with a large bust and your profile reads like you’re functionally-illiterate, a lot of guys are just going to see you as a sexual plaything.

Then there are the women who are looking for “Prince Charming” or “Mr Right” and expect that such a man will literally pop up out of nowhere, choose them, court them in notions of chivalry (which apparently are obligations levied against men and the birthright of women everywhere), and ride off into the sunset “happily ever after.” No, the world doesn’t work that way—in fact, you’ll inevitably find quite a few things about him that just drive you mad. Life is NOT something out of a Disney princess movie, or books like Twilight or 50 Shades of Grey. Get used to it. 

Finally, and on a related tangent, the other big-ticket item is that a lot of women will gladly issue a long list of things that they want their partner to be. A good example of just how ridiculously-long some of these “lists” are can be found

Let me be clear: I am NOT saying anyone should not have standards; rather what I am saying is that people should pick a few (2-4) that they could not possibly see themselves compromising on, and preferably on things that could reasonably be deduced from an online-dating profile or from communications running through the first meeting/hang-out/date. This would be called “setting reasonable standards” and it would go well with stating what one offers in exchange--which leads me to my next point…

Go back to Part III

Go to Part V

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