17 February 2013

Cato Gets Caught Up on Linkage, Round I

So, I've been out and about the last couple of months, which partially explains why there's only been sporadic posts from me. I wanted to get caught up and spread some pieces that I found to be quite interesting and worth a share. So, without further ado, here are some more links and "good stuff" put out for reference:

1.) Deti on "What Today's Women Think of Men"

A while back, there was a very good blog run by a Professor Mentu called the University of Man. One of the posts dealt with a group of women on Facebook who were criticising a guy who linked to one of Mentu's earlier posts. This blog post, then, is a comment on said University of Man post regarding this Facebook conversation. Personally, I find that it does explain in part the dating situation most of the average men and women are facing in today's age, which sadly isn't a good sign for anyone.

2.) The blogger known as Deti again makes an excellent comment on M3's blog last month, regarding the debacle known as "Nice Guys of OkCupid." M3's post is here. Specifically, Deti writes:

"If a man is interested in a woman, he is hard wired to show some form of commitment to her. He’s hard wired to spend time and effort in showing interest of some kind. Every act of deference and supplication, every response, to a woman he wants, is a form of investment and commitment.
Every returned text, every phone call. “You’re not entitled to a return text. You’re not entitled to a phone call.”
Every minute spent on the phone. “You’re not entitled to my time on the phone.”
Every minute spent watching movies. “You’re not entitled to my time.”
Every dinner date. “You’re not entitled to a free meal. You’re not entitled to free drinks. You’re not entitled to waste my time and money.”
Every gift. “You’re not entitled to a gift — you’re not entitled to the thought that went into getting it, the effort spent finding it or the money spent purchasing it.”
Long term relationship and marriage: “You will not take me for granted simply because I live here and I pay the bills. You’re not entitled to my commitment. You’re not entitled to my money. You’re not entitled to treat me however you want simply because you have the appellation “Mrs.” in front of your name.
I will return the text or call if I believe it is worth my time and investment.
I will talk to you on the phone if it is worth my time investment.
I will take you on dates if I conclude it is worth my time and money.
I will freely and liberally give gifts. But you are not ENTITLED to a gift.
I will remain married to you as long as you are holding up your end of the bargain. All you have to do is be nice most of the time, stay here, and don’t sleep with anybody else. If you fail to meet the requirements of fidelity and steadfastness and kindness, the marriage will probably end."

Personally, I think this is fair and reasonable, and is largely applicable against BOTH genders. If you want the benefits of a relationship, then you should be prepared to pay the metaphorical "prices" that come with it. That applies equally for men and women alike, and if one doesn't like it, then one should not be in a relationship with another person and be upfront about it.

3.) M3, "The Crime of Being Nice"

The blogger M3 wrote a brilliant piece here that most definitely strikes a chord with me. I've seen this from multiple angles firsthand, and it's not pretty--or fun to deal with. Between this one and many of the comments, there really isn't much I can add here. Go read it for yourself, I'll wait.

4.) Toy Soldier, "It Takes One To Know One"

This one was also written in the wake of the whole Nice Guys of OkCupid fiasco, and also has quite a few points that I really cannot add to. This quote in particular rings home:

"How about teaching them that they should not seek self-validation in other people? Why not teach boys and men that they do not need a woman to prove their worth as a person or as a man? Why not teach boys and men that they should seek out women and girls worthy of the love they have to offer, not those who will judge them by their appearances or social awkwardness? Why not teach girls and women to be clear in their rejection and not leave guys they know are interested in them hanging just because it is beneficial to them to have a “break glass in case of emergency” friendzoned guy in waiting?"

And there you have it. Until next time (because even though I'm on a roll and it's Sunday, I still need to get some shuteye)... 

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