25 April 2013

Alpha Lays and Beta Pays: More Than Meets the Eye (Part II)

[continued from Part I]

Here's what we've concluded from our informal study: 

  • Most women seem to be aware of options and use multiple sites
  • It appears the sites these women flock to will depend on their intentions. 
  • Many of the more serious ones tended to use both free and paid dating sites
  • Congruency itself seems to vary on the individual. Some girls get this and are consistent in their profile data, most though are consistent at least with their basic info (e.g. height/weight, location, hair/eye colour, astronomical sign)
  • Often, the seemingly-angry "Don't send me sex messages" appears to vary. Some are consistent across-the-board while we noticed quite a few being willing to use Fling to facilitate sexual encounters. 
  • Most women who join an adult/sex/fetish site appear to know what they're getting into, and what they can expect.  
  • The chances are fairly high that if she joins a "sugar daddy" site, then she's got a sex-site profile.  

What this last two observations mean: Think about the title of these two posts. The girl goes to the "sugar daddy" site wanting someone to pay for her entertainment and meals, and then goes to the sex/fetish sites to subsidise her sexual needs. Indeed it is fair to say that such a woman is effectively compartmentalising her sex life, and hence the phrase "Alpha Lays and Beta Pays." 

Our Recommendations (applicable to both guys AND girls): 

  • -Before you join and/or pay membership fees, know what you're getting into. Do your homework: find out if the site is a network that will list your profile on multiple domains. 
  • If you're not open to the idea of casual or "no-strings-attached" sex, try to avoid signing up for sex sites. If it's unavoidable (e.g. a result of a network), we strongly recommend seeing if you can go to the sex site and remove all options except ones that say "want a relationship"--and then within the profile itself note "I'm only looking for a relationship and not just sex." 
  • Keep to one profile per site or network.
  • We agree with the Manosphere's idea of using multiple sites. However, we do recommend one use their best judgement--"everything in moderation."
  • It's important to maintain consistency online. Don't say "I'm not interested in hookups" and then have another profile that says "I really want to get laid ASAP."  
  • Watch what you post online. If you prefer that your profiles and photos aren't visible to everyone on the Internet, check into changing privacy settings and/or using only sites that allow you to turn off search-engine visibility. 
  • Avoid posting sexually-laced photos, stories, details, etc. UNLESS you're actually looking for casual sex. 
  • If you're not using a site for more than a month or two, it's often a good idea to mark it as inactive and/or close it. Some sites do allow a user to set their profile to "inactive" or a "deactivated" state without permanently deleting it. 
  • When you find a profile that seems to appeal to you, it doesn't hurt to run their pictures through a reverse-image search and their "handle" through Google. Pay attention to what they may say on other profiles and look for inconsistencies

A Note On Profile Numbers and Effects 

Frankly, our informal study didn't tell us anything that we hadn't already suspected. Perhaps any number of people would tell us that we wasted our time. So be it. The data's there for anyone who wants to see it. Considering how Chewie and I tend to value evidence over assumption, we felt it incumbent to actually do something that may shed light either way on what we've suspected. 

While we freely admit that much more research is needed in this area, Chewie and I are in the interim strongly recommending that one should keep the numbers pared down. Not only does having a lower number of open profiles make it easier to maintain, it also avoids a suggestion of desperation. 

In general, we are initially suggesting that having six or more open profiles online breaches a point where one can strongly suggest the owner is desperate. This threshold lowers by one for each of the following: 

  • at least one of the five is a paid sex-personals site such as Fling or AFF; 
  • at least two or more of the five are on paid dating sites or have paid for "upgraded" services at a free-site such as POF or OkCupid. 
  • at least two profiles are on any "sugar-daddy," sex, or fetish sites
  • if any profile has photos that depict exposed genitalia (including female breasts)
  • if any profile contains references to sexual webcam shows or their own porn sites. 

As an interesting side-note: if our "rule of thumb" is in play, this would mean that 12% of the girls reviewed could arguably be considered as "desperate." While this appears to be small (it's approximately one out of eight), it's something worth watching for. 

Which in turn leads to the moral of this whole little story: "Caveat Emptor."

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