12 April 2013

And Now We Paean PlentyOfFish...


The dating site PlentyOfFish is one of the more popular "freemium" dating sites out there. And they've made a lot of changes to make the site clean and easy-to-use. In addition, the staff there have been trotting out new features to improve the experience.

Recently, the site introduced this feature called "Ranked Contacts." The site claims that the users in this list are the ones who are "sorted by the probability that you will have a LONG TERM relationship with them." Further, they claim that "The list has been generated by our resident team of PhDs who are experts in compatibility science. Our research shows that if you are in contact with 100 different users, 50% of the time your future partner is in the top 10, and 17% of the time the top user on this list is the person you will end up dating."

BUT, here's where the interesting part comes into play. The first sentence under the big "You are most likely to date…" heading reads:

"The following is a list of users you have messaged or who have messaged you!"

Let that sink in for a minute.

It should go without saying that of a list of users one has previously messaged, one would either be engaging them in some sort of relationship, or there was some reason or incident that caused that "spark" to die. Furthermore, for the guys, it goes without saying that a quantum (perhaps most) of the women on that "already messaged" list either never replied back or at some point said something to the effect of "I don't want to talk to you anymore."

And for the average Joe? Most likely, the overwhelming vast majority of the users on that list are ones that he messaged; chances are only a handful (if any) are ones that messaged him.

Yet here is PlentyOfFish saying "these are your best prospects for a date because you've already messaged them." If there was a message sent and a reply never received, WHY would sending a user on that list another message work? Most likely, NO. In fact, there are exactly two subtle "messages" sent--and neither of them are flattering:

  • "I'm a creeper who decided to cyber-stalk you" and
  • "I'm REALLY desperate for somebody! ANYBODY!" 

And people wonder why PlentyOfFish is seen at best as a joke, if not a sewer filled with brain-dead cretins? After all, there IS a reason why Chewie and I often refer to the site as "Plenty of Brain-Dead Fish" (or BDF) for short. And one of the key reasons why we do so is because the site fundamentally relies on "Blue Pill" logic to operate as it does.

An example of this logic is something that Chewie noticed: "This site's logic is, "Wow, if they messaged you or you messaged them, they're automatically better for you!" We get it if the site clarified and said "you messaged these people x months ago, and they are back in your pool.  Why not send them a quick message?" After all, people change over time, and as the years go by, things do change. Rather, instead they'll group all of the ones you've sent messages to, even if you'd sent them a message two or three weeks ago.

The truth is that here lies the nadir of Blue Pill thinking: "the one for you is the one you've known all along." It is the essence of foolish and corny rom-coms, and Red Pill men know the difference...

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